One measly scene. And it still needs to be rewritten. Luckily, I already know what I want to do with it, but I’m going to wait until the next draft so I can fix it with all the other kinks. I have a few contests that I’m thinking of entering it into, if I can get it ready in time. I have Sunday-Tuesday off, so I’ll have to write like a madman for that 72 hour stretch.
I’m just so tired and overwhelmed today. I hate it. It’s not even that I felt unmotivated to write, but I just couldn’t get my mind off other things, plus I need to take my behind to bed so I can’t stay up until 4 working on it.
I really want to crawl into my bed and go to sleep right now but it’s 6:30. I’ll take an hour and a half nap and then not be able to sleep until 4, knowing I have to wake up at 7. I need to occupy myself. Rewrites? But I never feel motivated when the sun is up; I do my best writing at night.
Oh, well. It doesn’t matter. I’m not gonna be tired when I lie down tonight anyway because my body hates me and will drain me of my energy all day and then suddenly want to perk up at 11.
I’m sure you can’t tell, but I’m in a bad, bad place today.
The 1984-esque front desk monitors in the back room and in the manager’s office so that someone can see what I’m doing at all times?
Not that I plan on messing around, but I just hate knowing someone is watching me 24/7. It’s also really awkward when it’s slow and I’m kind of just… standing there doing nothing thinking ohmygodisthemanagerwatchingmerightnowlookbusy! And then shuffling papers aimlessly.
Thank you! That's what I needed to hear. My problem is and always has been that I feel the need to have everything planned out and ready before it's even time to worry about it. I like what you said about how being out of college gives you the chance to clear your head. I think that that is mostly what I need and what you said about just focusing on finishing is exactly how/what I have been doing. I've just been to busy thinking about where/how/when I'm going to get a job and where I'm going to live when I graduate, rather than putting more attention to what I'm actually doing and learning. So, thanks for taking the time to respond and give me some perspective, it means a lot!
No problem. I’m glad it helped, because I kind of felt like I was rambling for a minute there lol yeah, just do your thing when you graduate. Don’t stress out, keep a level head and just live life for a little while. It’ll all work out.
In addition to my last post, apparently people are dropping like flies? The girl before me quit after one day and when Training Guy introduced me to the cleaning ladies, they asked if I was “borrowed” because they keep “giving everyone back.” Apparently, no one stays for long.
I’m finally home from my first day at the new job (well, I have been for like an hour but I collapsed in my bed and watched Judge Judy). Um… where to even begin?
I can’t say that it’s a horrible job, because it’s not. It’s just not… me? The guy training me (we’ll just call him Trainer Guy? Can you tell I’m feeling witty and creative today?) was cool, but he wants me to be more “peppy.” I’m not peppy! It’s hard for me to fake being hokey like that even though I know it’s an act. I’m the kind of person who is about business. Come in, I’ll ask how you’re doing, give me your name and let’s pull your reservation up. I just don’t like too much small talk and he’s obsessed with it. That’s not to say I’m this sullen, cynical person slouching behind the desk and glaring at you when you walk in… I’m nice, I’m personable, I smile… I just don’t feel the need to be corny? I feel like that may be an issue :/
Also, COMPLICATED! Everyone told me I’d get the hang of things, but right now I feel SO remedial and I hate it. Half the reason I can’t really fake my happiness is because I’m so busy trying to keep everything straight. I have to do this or housekeeping will get mad… make sure this is right or you’ll get a nasty note… SMILE… if they request this, then do this… if they’re a returns member, do this… give them their gift if they’re elite… call each room and make sure everything is good… It feels like SO much right now. Like it’s all really hard to keep track of. I’m scared I’m still going to be struggling to get the hang of it long after they’ve expected me to be working like a well-oiled machine.
No one was mean though, which is a good thing. I just feel so exhausted and stressed out. And I shouldn’t be this stressed out for the amount of money I’m getting paid. I’m just kind of dreading going in tomorrow because I’m scared of looking stupid!!! I’m scared of looking bland in comparison to these hyperactive Disney front desk people. But mostly I’m scared of looking stupid.
I need a drink, but I can’t go out tonight because I have to be there at 7 again tomorrow. Thankfully I have Sunday, Monday and Tuesday off. Why can’t I just be the heir to an ailing oil investor or something? I feel like I need a job where I don’t have to deal with people… not because I’m bad with people, but I’m not as OH MY GOD HOW ARE YOU DOING? WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME! OOP, GOT YOUR NOSE! JUST KIDDING! HAHAHAHA! as I feel customer service positions want you to be.
Can I find a job… under a rock or something? And do I have to go back tomorrow?
Blegh. I’m going to take my mind off of it later on this evening and get some more of Night Shift done and maybe do a few pages of my contained thriller. It feels weird writing with a job… ideally, I’m this free-spirit who just wants to write and be artistic and live in the moment.
Realistically, I’m a broke college graduate who needs a steady paycheck. Depressing. I’ll be a free-spirt one day soon though.
I have to wake up at 6am tomorrow. I can’t remember the last time I woke up at 6am, even when I was in school.
I didn’t get any writing done today. I went to do title paperwork for the house I’m moving into, shopped for work clothes, went to the movies with Paula to see The Hangover II (if you’ve seen the first then you’re not really missing anything, just more of the same… not necessarily a bad thing but it’s not as must-see as people think), and move a futon.
I’m looking into entering some upcoming contests. Night Shift should be ready within the next few months. I also need to get back to querying *sigh* and get some updates on Exposure from the ever-so-elusive production company.
That being said, goodnight. Everyone have a great Friday and a safe weekend!
I'm kind of in a rut and trying to figure out what exactly I'm going to do with a degree in screenwriting and what it is I actually want to do with my life. How was your transition from college to the real world? Did you ever feel this lost and confused? Can you shed any positive light on this lifestyle, haha, I hope I'm not putting you on the spot or anything!
Oh, goodness lol I can tell you personally that my transition from college to the real world was a STRUGGLE (all caps lol). I felt like I was floundering for a while, though I barely graduated in December. Thankfully, my parents were understanding and they’ve helped me out when I needed it. I just hate having to depend on them and I wanted to do things on my own finally. Remember that just because you’re finished with college doesn’t mean you have to have your entire life figured out.
I graduated with my degree in English and had no idea what I was going to do with it. I want to be a screenwriter, so I took a few classes and kind of self-taught myself. You just have to write every day, query, find ways to market your writing, etc. Don’t worry though, I felt exactly how you’re describing. Right now, I’m working/writing/hanging out lol I may go to grad school down the line, I have no idea right now. I just know the ultimate goal for me is writing for a living.
I don’t know how well this addressed your message lol I think there’s this idea that you’d better have every minute detail of your life figured out by the time you walk across that stage or you’re a big failure but that’s not the case. The positive light I can shed on it is that being out of college gives you a chance to clear your head and really think about what you want. When I was in school, I was just focused on finishing that I didn’t really think about what I was going to do when I was out. It’s tough, but it will make you stronger in the end (cliche, I know lol)
No, not on the spot at all. If my rambles were somewhat clear then feel free to ask more!
I’m about to watch Hard Candy (one of my favorites) and go to sleep so I’m going to make this pretty brief.
The Night Shift rewrite is almost done. Then, I’m going to put it aside for just a week or two this time and go back to polish it up again. Read it as a .pdf file to see how it looks after that and then go from there. I’m having more fun rewriting it than I had writing it.
I got the hotel job! The manager hired me on the spot because she liked my application and the way I presented myself :) she said she never does that, so… yeah, I’m pretty proud. I feel like I usually suck at interviews so I’m on cloud 9. I start Friday.
I’m probably going to be moving out in July. I already have a spot, I just need to find a roommate. My writing schedule (which was just kind of… whenever I felt like writing) is going to have to change and become more structured… a.k.a. when I’m not working, I should be writing. I want to keep writing as much as/as close to what I was writing during my days as a scrub.
The first step of many has been surpassed, thank God. Now I can finally concentrate on other things (film studies, possible grad school, the future in general). I’m not in limbo anymore!
“Write from the heart, what has meaning to you personally; have the patience and discipline to sit down and do it every day whether you’re feeling inspired or not; never be afraid to take chances, in fact, make sure you take chances. As soon as you become complacent, you become boring.”—Charles de Lint (via writingadvice)
I’ve been flying through this Night Shift rewrite and it’s turning out pretty amazing. Well, amazing compared to the train wreck that was the first draft. I still feel like my protagonist is too absent in Act II but… he’s unconscious and tied to a chair so I don’t really know how to remedy that.
Anyway, this is just the first step in many rewrites I’m sure. Even when I thought Exposure was absolutely perfect, I’d go back to it and find something new I wanted to change or I’d get feedback that pointed something glaringly unrealistic or distracting that I’d miss. This is the hardest rewrite though. It gets easier with each new draft and that’s the exciting part.
I didn’t work on anything else today because I was kind of in an unmotivated, I’m-depressed-because-I’m-broke-and-feeling-worthless-woe-is-me-rsvp-to-my-pity-party kind of moods. Then, I got my hair cut (which I was in DESPERATE need of) and I just felt… better lol. I also got a call from this hotel for an interview tomorrow. I hope it goes well. It’s not even about the money at this point so much as it is about having some kind of purpose lol; I need SOMETHING to do. Also, though, I need cash to move out and supply my alcoholic tendencies.
If you’re feeling stressed or unmotivated then go do something relaxing or something that you enjoy (besides writing). Take some time off. You’re not going to be a failure if you take an hour or two to go for a walk or hang out with some friends to take your mind off of your writing (or, in my case, life in general).
In other news, I’m torn on whether or not I’m going to the foam party Thursday. The whole reason I wanted to go is, well, dating someone now so I find it kind of pointless. I can’t wait to go out with Erika and Co. on Friday though. Even unemployed and out of school, I still look forward to the weekend.
The Kelly Price song “Tired” speaks to my life right now.
I’m tired of people claiming they’re going to do something and then NEVER FOLLOWING THROUGH WITH IT. Like emailing me back. Or calling me back when you say you’re going to. Stop stringing me along and either let’s move forward or cut ties. It’s not difficult. Both of the situations I’m talking about are extremely important to me but it won’t kill me if I have to leave them in the dust because this is getting ridiculous.
Then, when you DON’T call me back at the agreed upon time, I give you an hour grace period. I call you again. No answer.
I might seem like a lunatic right now, but this actually has to do with employment/money/my goals so I really don’t appreciate being jerked around like this. Be professional! How am I more prompt and courteous than you straight out of college? People complain about the millennium generation but when we do what we have to do to get head you push us aside and ignore us. Then when you see us not doing anything, we’re “lazy and unmotivated.” Maybe because you aren’t returning any of our calls or emails!
I could go on for HOURS but I’m already too annoyed and I think my head may physically explode if I type anymore right now.
What a random weekend. Friday night I had a great time out with Erika, Anthony, and Kyle. I managed to keep my drinking under control (I sound like an AA member) and just enjoy the night stress-free after the horrendous week I had. There was a somewhat awkward/weird/passive-aggressively hostile moment, but it’s whatever. What’s done is done and Friday was legit overall.
Saturday morning awakened visions of homicide along with me when my dad barged into my room at 8:30 (I got to bed at 4) telling me that my brother and I had to help our cousin move. That entire experience was a complete nightmare involving stank-ass Jamaican men in too-tight wifebeaters, driving a truck full of furniture on the freeway, and moving MASSIVE couches up two flights up stairs even though they hardly fit. However, I did get $20 and free lunch out of it. And I’m glad I could help, even though at the time I wanted to shoot any and everyone involved with that move.
Today was pretty lazy. I woke up, watched Parks and Recreation and I Survived, took a nap, repeat. I got 10 pages of my contained thriller done (up to page 50!) and 6 pages done on my comedy. I have 8 more pages to revise of Night Shift before I start implementing the changes in Celtx. From the midpoint on, that script has changed dramatically. Every single page is scrawled with red—so much to fix, but I’m excited. I can’t wait to see how draft 2 turns out.
No, the above statement wasn’t sarcastic. I’m having the best time with the preliminary stages of rewriting Night Shift. I feel like a surgeon performing lipo on a dumpy housewife. SO much has been cut out and replaced with shorter, less expositional stuff. She’s gonna be a hottie in no time.
A huge issue I’m trying to tackle with this one is character voices. When I first wrote it, it felt like any of the characters could’ve said any of the lines. Now there’s more distinction between them. I’ve amped up the action a little bit and my main character is becoming a bit less passive and a bit more aggressive.
I got to 21 pages on my contained thriller today. I’m loving how it’s turning out. I’m going to put Victims on the back burner for NOW. I’m more excited about the rewrite and my contained thriller. I’m probably going to write a few more scenes for my comedy after this entry. Then, possibly sketch out an idea I’ve had for something new to have on deck when I’m finished with all this.
In other news, Wichita kind of sucked. I don’t know how that made the 06 (?) Black List but… damn. Whoever stepped in and demanded the rewrite for Mother’s Day, my hat’s off to you. That made such a better movie.
In other other news, I had a productive day even outside of writing. I applied at a hotel, enrolled in my summer nutrition class (I want to learn how to be healthier from someone who knows that they’re talking about), applied for some call center job (blegh), had a falling out/mending fences session with a friend, enrolled in my video production starter course for fall, and paid my credit card bill. Go me, right?!
It’s been so long since I’ve read an actual book. The only things I’ve been reading have been screenplays, so it’s kind of jarring to go back and read pages that are actually full of text. I hate it though because I can’t stand people who “don’t read” and I was slowly becoming one of them. I think it’s important, especially since I initially wanted to be an author before I even had an inkling of becoming a screenwriter.
So I took advantage of the enormous Borders at Times Square when I was in New York (because despite my months of not really reading, I still love bookstores) and bought Dog Blood by David Moody. Phenomenal. I read 191 pages just on the flight back. I’m a pretty fast reader, but considering how long it’s been since I didn’t go all ADD on an actual BOOK, that’s pretty good. I’m loving it so far, despite not having read the first book in the trilogy. He’s definitely an author to watch.
Basically I need to start reading more. I do really enjoy it and novels may be completely different beasts than screenplays, but reading them still helps.
I’m safely back in Arizona… from New York City. Lame. It feels good to be back because no matter what, home is home but still. I miss New York! What an inspiring city. I wish I had more time there. It was strange coming from a place where buildings are practically stacked on top of each other to spacious, spread out Arizona again. Despite a few minor annoyances (which I won’t get into because… why bog down a positive experience with the few negatives), it was a great trip. I never got used to the 3-hour time difference so I didn’t get the best of sleep there, and as a result I’m compensating by resting up today.
I’m going to go see Bridesmaids later, and then I’ll post my reviews of the phenomenal Mothers Day remake and the German vampire flick We Are The Night.
I thought about my writing maybe 60% of the time I was in New York. It actually revitalized my passion for it and gave me more ideas. I actually read a great book on rewriting that I’ve had for a while but just never read. It didn’t necessarily tell me anything I didn’t already know about structure/character, but it did give me tips to get better at my rewriting process. The book is called Rewrite by Paul Chitlik and it has some really good insight. If anything, it was an encouragement to stop procrastinating on this Night Shift rewrite and get my ass in gear.
Being back in Phoenix, all the stress I felt when I left came crushing back but I’m dealing with it. There’s nothing I can’t solve with my to-do list and a positive attitude, right? I just need to control myself from going off on this potential employer (the one I’ve been complaining about) and this production company (who’s taking forever to review the contract I sent; hurry up!), and I’ll be good. It’s not so much the lack of me getting what I want from them (a job; my check) as much as it is the LACK OF COMMUNICATION on their parts.
Anyway, I’m back so you’ll be seeing more of my rants/writing updates/reviews/randomness again :)
I revisited Victims tonight. It’s good to be back on board with that project. I’m at 40 pages now and I don’t think there’s any way to avoid this one being 110. Every scene is vital to the plot and I still have a lot to write. However, we’ll see how vital everything is once I start rewrites. EVERYTHING is vital when you first write it.
I started my contained thriller. Finally! 10 pages deep on that and I’m excited about it. This is the one I want to shoot myself when I get the experience, so we’ll see how that goes. I wouldn’t be opposed to someone else making it though. It’s whatever. I’m a writer first and foremost, but sometimes to really get your writing exposed you have to be a jack of all trades, take matters into your own hands and write something really cheap that you could make awesome with a small budget. Couldn’t hurt.
I found an intro to film editing course at GCC that I want to take this fall. And I may take a photography class this summer just to learn more about lighting techniques. My goal for these next couple of months is to learn everything I can about the technical aspect of filmmaking. Mainly sound mixing and editing (yikes)
I’m off to NYC tomorrow night at 11! I’m excited. I’m not writing a thing again until Sunday (well, I’ll write a little tomorrow afternoon). I finally get to go to Times Square and I’m seeing Wicked on Broadway. Coming back to AZ is gonna be so depressing.
There are good reasons for both though. As soon as I woke up, I went to hang out with my dad. Usually I go for my run after I get up so that I can just take a shower when I get back, but I had to take a shower before going out in public. And I didn’t want to run and then take another shower not even two hours later. Plus I just wasn’t in the mood after running around all day.
And the pizza… I was just irrationally hungry and wouldn’t listen to reason. But I’m still fly, so no worries ;) and my crush is for sure going to this foam party at the end of the month so… I need to get it together. I’ve been consistent with running/working out so that shouldn’t be an issue.
I wrote 3 pages of my comedy today. 3 pretty good pages too. So I’m at 33 pages, shooting for 40 by Tuesday. I don’t know how much I’ll get done tomorrow because I have a pretty busy day. I’m seeing Thor with Anthony and… well, that’s actually it but when you’re out of school and unemployed like me just getting out of the house seems like a pretty busy day. But I’ll probably get some work done tomorrow night.
I may start Night Shift revisions after I finish this. Maybe not though. I need to change the entire ending to make the protagonist more active. I cleaned my room from top to bottom today in hopes that it could be a physical representation of me clearing out my mind for this rewrite and… it kind of worked. I find it easier to concentrate in spotless surroundings.
Twin girls, Brielle and Kyrie, were born 12 weeks ahead of their due date. Needing intensive care, they were placed in separate incubators.
Kyrie began to gain weight and her health stabilized. But Brielle, born only 2 lbs, had trouble breathing, heart problems and other complications. She was not expected to live.
Their nurse did everything she could to make Brielle’s health better, but nothing she did was helping her. With nothing else to do, their nurse went against hospital policy and decided to place both babies in the same incubator.
She left the twin girls to sleep and when when she returned she found a sight she could not believe. She called all the nurses and doctors and this is what they saw (refer to the picture above).
As Brielle got closer to her sister, Kyrie put her small little arm around her, as if to hug and support her sister. From that moment on, Brielle’s breathing and heart rate stabilized and her health became normal.
From then on, they decided to keep both babies together, because when they were together they kept each other alive.
The first draft of my slasher is finished. Clocking in at 98 pages! And that’s awesome because I wanted it under 100. I’d prefer it at 90, but we’ll see what gets trimmed when I start revising it. The killer reveal/motive monologue thing needs WORK but at least it’s on paper. Once I print out a hard copy and can physically mark it with pen it should be easy to work with.
Now I’m going to just forget about it until June. I’m going to try and traverse the swampland known as Act II in my comedy. I’m at 30 pages now. I want to be at 45 before I leave for New York Tuesday. I should be able to get a bulk of that done tomorrow and Friday. Saturday I’m going out (yay!) and Sunday I’ll probably do some rewriting on Night Shift.
I also need to get this contained thriller started. That’s the one I could shoot myself (once I learn more :/) for cheap. I just need to sit down and write it so that I have it on deck. Victims… I just really don’t care about anymore lol but I’m going to finish it anyway because I still like the premise way too much.
Umm… what else? My werewolf script is (like I said on Twitter) the narrative equivalent of New Orleans post-Katrina. Basically, it’s a hot ass mess. It needs a complete overhaul and the thought alone of the work that’s gonna have to go into that rewrite is daunting. However, I think the idea is marketable and preternatural creatures are in right now. It wouldn’t hurt to have it completed either.
I’m so excited about all these projects and finally getting them done to add to my completed works. I’ve been writing consistently and I’m proud of that. Hopefully if/when people come knocking after Exposure is released I’ll have some impressive stuff to show.