Babysitter Wanted (directed by Jonas Barnes & Michael Manasseri, written by Jonas Barnes)
Words cannot express how boring Babysitter Wanted is. This movie is a prime example that you can throw as many chase scenes, gore, and final girl vs. evil maniac showdowns into a movie as you want but if the viewer doesn’t give a fuck… it’s going to be boring. It was so boring that I was updating my Twitter, checking my Facebook, and browsing through tumblr while it was playing. If a movie can’t even keep me off my Macbook (which shouldn’t be hard to do) then there’s a problem.
Babysitter Wanted is full of cliche after cliche after cliche… and they’re not used tongue-in-cheek or in a way to pay homage. And if they are then they do it poorly. It takes the ill-fated babysitter urban legend and turns it on its head. It could have been great because I actually did like the twist (as horribly as it was executed) but the villains were over-the-top, Sarah Thompson was bland and her character was one-dimensional, and the movie didn’t seem to have any direction. Stuff happens, then more stuff happens. And after that, more stuff happens. There’s no structure.
Thompson’s motivation for taking the babysitting job in the middle of nowhere is non-existent. In the similar, but marginally better House of the Devil, the protagonist takes a babysitter job because she’s desperate to move out of her shitty dorm and get her own apartment. Here, Thompson just kind of takes the advertisement and inquires about the job. If she really needed the money or had a reason to take the job it would not only round out the story, but add more to her character as well.
Technically, the movie was sound. It just commits the cardinal sin of being boring despite things happening. I actually found myself reminded of Angel while watching this (because of Sarah Thompson’s role in the final season) and really debated on ending Babysitter Wanted prematurely and starting on one of my box sets. I really wanted to like this movie but it was like watching paint dry: no engaging stories, characters, or suspense. Just 90 minutes of mind-numbing boredom.